More Confusion
As I mentioned, I felt a lot more prepared for this week. I walked into my classes with detailed lesson plans and an understanding of my students. With my university class, we went over vocabulary related to the environment and each of them wrote about the environmental problem they feel is most important in Palestine. Most wrote about the lack of a garbage disposal service - garbage either piles up on the side of the road or is burned, contaminating the air. They expressed the desire to have a recycling system and cleaner cities. My class of children 9-12 has become really comfortable, and I’ve been invited to lunch by a few of the students, which really made me feel good. I don’t know how much improvement I can achieve in a month, but it’s nice to feel that they accept me and at least enjoy their lessons.
Living here has really made me think about the differences between Western and Muslim cultures. Most women here just wear the hijab, but I have noticed some who cover their entire faces, with just a slit for their eyes. It makes them look just like blank silhouettes floating through the streets. I understand the reasoning behind the hijab, and I see that women can express themselves through their outfits, style their hijab how they like, and show their personality. But to see a ghost-like figure makes me wonder what they’re thinking - I would imagine it must be quite isolating. You can’t identify the woman, so it’s like they’re all the same, or not there at all. Think of simply meeting friends for lunch - if every woman wore completely black from head to toe with a slit for their eyes, how would they ever find each other? I respect the women who choose to wear the hijab, but I feel it’s important that it is their choice - one friend of mine here described how she hated wearing it when she was 12-13, but eventually accepted it and now enjoys buying patterned scarves and trying new styles. But to lose all outward identity? I realize I have an enormous bias from growing up in the US, but it strikes me as repressive.
Another friend from Nablus explained to me that she has received a marriage proposal from a man who moved from Nablus to the United States. He is wealthy and successful, and told her that he wants her to continue her education in the US. Her parents are pushing her to accept his proposal. She told me that if she thinks only with her mind, she should say yes, but she doesn’t even know the man and her heart isn’t in it. At the same time, she explained how she feels that this is her only chance to get out of the West Bank and provide her children with a better life (“I want my kids to be in heaven”). It was difficult to see her debate both sides. What would I do? Marry someone I love and be stuck in an occupied city with no potential for upward mobility, or marry for economic status and escape to the West?
I was especially confused by a conversation among some students in my law class. We got into the topic of religion and the influence of religion on politics and modern society. As we started debating, one of our professors, an Iraqi, called the class to a break and said something that I didn’t know how to react to: that in the US people are free to talk about religion, or make a movie about Jesus having a girlfriend - but that we shouldn’t talk about it here. It seemed crazy to me - these students are all well-educated and should be open-minded… I’m sure everyone would be sensible enough not to offend anyone and still carry on a thought-provoking discussion. We continued talking after the professor left, and one student argued that Islam is a more complete religion because it applies to politics as well, but Christianity doesn’t. At least I think that’s what he meant to say… He rambled a little about Christians killing Galileo so I could be wrong. I tried to explain that coming from the US, I view religion as a relatively private matter and that since each person interprets the Bible/Quran/Torah differently, individuals might not interpret their faith in a way that all people accept, or in a way that should be imposed on all people. I don’t think our conversation got us anywhere, but I’m definitely inspired to learn more about Islam and Islamic countries.
Last night though we all had the chance to relax and forget about politics when we went to the Turkish Bath, or hammam, for the steam room and a massage. It was so nice to calm down and see amazing architecture of the baths. We had tea afterwards in the lobby. Before we left, we saw a few boys looking in the front door at us. We assumed they were just curious - the hammam is usually only open for women on Tuesdays, but we made a reservation for that night, a monday. We’ve gotten used to the stares since we really do stand out in Nablus, but I still felt uneasy at being gawked at from the door. Once we walked out, we saw a pack of teenaged boys waiting in the street. We were with a male volunteer from Project Hope, but the boys followed us in a procession as we made our way home. As we left the Old City, our volunteer headed in a different direction to his own house. Once he left, it was the group of us six girls. The boys started yelling things at us and harrassing us. We sped up our pace, since we had never walked outside after dark before. I was walking in front, but the girls behind me felt rocks being thrown at their feet. I assume the boys just wanted to annoy us and get our attention… It’s not like they think we’re Israeli. It’s extremely upsetting. I’m loving my work here and 99% of the people I meet here, but it makes you feel hated. I realize they’re just bored and looking for entertainment, but you can only blame so much of their behavior on the occupation.
The rock-throwing incident pushed me to my boiling point, and today i went off - a man seized my wrist in the market and I screamed “DON’T TOUCH ME”. I already feel like I have leering eyes following me constantly, and I was seething. Not a block later a man looked me up and down whistling in my face, and I was on the verge of tears and screamed “F*** OFF” - a completely overblown reaction. When I calmed down I immediately regretted it. The same thing could happen in any busy city - I know if I was in NYC for a month there’s the potential for the same thing to happen… it’s just combined with my unfamiliarity of the environment here, it’s a lot to cope with on a day to day basis. Today my friend Audrey was sitting on the front step of our flat while talking on the phone, and a boy threw a rock at her and made kissing motions to her. We’re all sick of it and don’t know how to handle the boys - when i tried to use one of the words meant to stop them (haram, meaning shame on you, or sin in Islam), they just laughed at me and mocked me. I really don’t know what to do. It’s really a sad situation, because we’re so wary of these boys that we close ourselves off to other people. I used to enjoy seeing the children play in the streets and saying hello to the people walking, but now we all look down and just try to ignore everyone to avoid potential harassment.
Despite the fact that I was so upset, this week has really been incredible in every other way. I’ve gotten to meet a lot more locals and am enjoying Nablus more than before. One of the FFIPP interns, Tamara, just moved in to complete the second half of her internship with Project Hope, so we have a great group of girls and are having a lot of fun. This weekend I’ll probably stay in Ramallah and visit some family friends in Aboud, the Muallem family. I can’t believe the time is going so quickly - we only have two and a half weeks left. It’s been challenging here so far, but I’m definitely not ready to leave quite yet.
